2024 Rwanda Delegation— Jeanvier Nkurunziza
Theater ‘24
I have decided to pursue this opportunity because I grew up hearing all the stories about Rwanda whether they were encouraging, inspiring, or even threatening. I felt this feeling of wanting to go and see the country with my own eyes but also because I want to explore more on this country because it is deep rooted in who I am. This experience will be one for the ages because it’ll help me understand who I am as a person and find ways to make amends for the past of my grandparents who perished during the genocide. Lastly I am looking forward to understanding my culture in a deeply meaningful level and finding more ways to incorporate forgiveness into my daily cadences and using Story Based Learning in any space that I am in because it has made me realize that using my body to express my emotions is crucial because I am constantly stressing and not remembering to breathe in and release, because a lot of times we underestimate how much weight we carry on our shoulders , and it can be overwhelming not having a platform or a structure to maintain a sense of balance, peace or sane in our lives. So, this experience will elevate a lot of aspects of my life.
Thanks to Drew and Jonise
Garden that holds history
June 6/24
I visited a garden full of flowers
Beneath the flowers, I saw a stack of relics
So I stood there as my heart bled tears
And the bones starting crumbling within
I stood there as my mind started searching for my name, as sadness linger in my form
As I suffocated myself trying to melt happiness in each part of my soul
But my soul tore my comfort to shreds
As my skin attempted to grow a limo
So that it could fit every bit of my pain
In the palm of my hands
And there I was collecting all the trauma
From the flowers that held onto the earth
For so long that I felt fear creeping through my finger tips
And there was an empty nest inside my mouth that I couldn’t fill with words
So, I stood there silently
As I begged for my soul to return
So, I could amend the pain in an exchange to get back on my feet
I was in so much hurt, and my soul started to rot because of the roots of the garden
But none of these flowers were meant to bloom but not eulogize nightmares
Because my body was installed with fear that I can’t escape
Apart of me don’t want to return to this part of history
But I knew there were scattered pieces of me that were waiting for me to return them back home
So, I layered them to rest and mourned in the garden cherishing their memories that they left behind
Bookstore full of bodies
June 7/24
I visited a library full of people
I collapse into a small ball and my soul shrunk
And my mind turned onto a child
And there i was soaking in my own tears as suffered in silence
With the wish to corner myself, as my world creates anger
And wondering if I’ll carry all of these hurt on my shoulders
So that i can be a public display for all to see the atrocities
That this nation had to endure.
I could no longer exhale without feeling the void inside my stomach
So my mind tells me to grab a shovel and bury all my pain
To free myself from screaming as I dismiss my feelings
But now I know that my memory is attacked to this history
So i for a split second, i bit my tongue and watched bitterness travels through my bones
As i wept with rage and scrape all my questions in the attempt to open my closed doors and tell my ghost to spare my life
I stared down in silence as my eyes looked for more excuses
Because I knew I couldn’t sprint through the doors
Because there’s a lot of damages attacked to my name
But i realized that i need to face the reality, wipe the tears, and understand my pain as i find a way to keep moving forward.
6/10/2024
LEGACY
What is a legacy
What’s the point of a legacy if
It means leaving all your stories behind
Or is it all just a grand Shakespearean tragedy
Because history will shrug you around until it shrinks you into small ball
What is a legacy
Is it walking down knowing that you’ll get audited by nature and you’ll answer the question
Or is it living life knowing that one day
You’ll plant a seed you’ll never get to see
What’s a legacy?
Still people may still want to write me history
Or will I just be another history’s shame
Because I didn’t meet myself at the top
Either way I’ll give my hand out
And let him lead
I’ll see the beyond the heaven skies
And I’ll let the wounds heal
As I slowly wave a goodbye
Because my legacy will be
Inserted into the hearts of those
Come I once came across with
Or the ones that I never did
But the line of names of people
I inspired will be endless
Because the beautiful thing about legacy
“Your story is told when you are no longer here”
June 14, 2024
Peace Value and Education
June 15, 2024
Unfulfilled dreams
If I ever get a chance
I hope to place all the unfulfilled dreams and insert them all in the pages of my childhood book
So that their stories can get passed on
Perhaps, i will decorate my room with their dreams
And I’ll plant their dream in my garden and let them bloom into beautiful plants
I will demand light to pour and overfill every inch of this world and scare away any shade of darkness
I will allow life to guide me back to the trail of their dreams so that I can remind their souls how good they were as I carry their kindness and selflessness with me around the world
I’ll create memories and hang them in my room so that they can live inside my heart
And my heart will shout
“ encore “ encore” “ encore”
As I remember how beautiful it is to be alive
June 18, 2024
FORGIVENESS
I didn’t learn how to forgive at a early age
So I allowed the old pain of mine grow
And there I was begging for my soul to heal
And the wounds were soaking out stained water, so I watched as the worms crawled in my skin and I’ve stitched my wounds with more pain, That opening up felt was like pitching needles in my body, and being vulnerable felt like selling my soul
Because I was never good with words
So I lingered in the air as I attempted to continue to find ways to feed the hole
With pain and alcohol
As I wait for it to finally swallow me whole
Because it left me in a pile of regrets
As Everything else is laid to rest
While I’m stuck with one foot inside of the door
And the other is willing to let me tore my heart
Out and throw it at the feet of others
I’ve suffered for so long that the pain is embedded into me and this story of mine holds
Me in a place of hostage as I battle to find a way to escape it
But it is good now that I’m not the only victim of the generation trauma that lays in my blood
My first step is finding peace in the same place that broke me while I embrace the consequences of the genocide
View Jeanvier’s StoryMap below where he connected his experience in Rwanda to the UN Sustainable Development Goals.