2015 Rwanda Delegation: Rebecca Cannizzaro
Afterthoughts
Here I am blogging my life away, haha
I was thinking of one of our last days in Rwanda. We were going classroom to classroom teaching grades 2-6. I enjoyed it because I was doing what I liked, acting but also I enjoy helping others. But, deep down I feel I really can't work with kids, not that I don't like them I just couldn't connect. Later I was home and sleeping for days and I woke up and thought about how I felt. I believe I needed a good long rest to digest a lot thats happened this month, I didn't realize how much it was catching up with me until I got home. Anyway, the next day I went to my Aunts house, she is a 4th grade teacher at a school in buffalo that struggles with having many international kids. She was very stressed when I arrived so I talked to her and I could tell how much she really cared but how difficult it must be. I began to tell her about some of my experiences int he classrooms and the responses. I hope that maybe she could find them useful in her classroom especially if there is a tricky language barrier. Regardless, This helped me get out some frustration because I couldn't imagine doing that forever! Its a great job and a wonderful thing but the frustrations! To the point, I hope all the teachers we've worked with in this method really take it in and apply it because the response is so very worth it. Learning, focus and team building to me seemed like the only way to get across to tricky children! - in addition the older teachers really enjoyed this too so for whoever may be reading get skilled in drama based education! come to the dark side! and share your stories.
Live to dream, dance inspires.
The Rebecca Davis dance company definitely was one of my favorites for many reasons. Personally, dance inspires me just like theater and helps me through many challenges I come across in life. Many times when I am down, or angry and don't know how to put words on something I dance or sing or act. Discoveries are made about myself, what I want, what I felt or even about others and their experience. This is an outlet for me, Yes and for others too. But it is nice when it is confirmed to be. Rebecca Davis Dance company confirmed this for me. All the boys in this company are street boys, they don't have family or money but they worked hard to become a part of this company. They spoke of many things even as a child i encountered, whether it be drugs or alcohol, domestic abuse, etc and regardless of whether or not it happened to me, growing up I either knew someone with a problem or was exposed to these themes. The similarities and connections are endless between me and these children along with many others in that room. Regardless of these problems, these children still work because this is what makes them happy, this is their outlet. It is amazing to see such young people this openly motivated. In addition to this, this open to learning other things, like our theater games that we brought for our drama-based education portion of the visit. They were so respectful and put their all into taking up this new form of expression. This is one thing that is hard sometimes in the classroom with young children, the lack of participation and motivation to learn and work. These are skills this group of children had and something we should not take for granted. The idea of learning through body and voice allows not only for them to pick up information but make discoveries of their own, and it is fun so they want to do it and WILL do it. This was displayed in our workshop. Also following that the children taught us more about their dance, they were motivated after working with us for hours to work with us even longer because they were happy, and motivated and because of that, we all learned something that day.
Teacher training conclusion
Teacher Training day two, continuing from yesterday the teachers were excited to learn and ready to work.
We again started with a short discussion, answered some questions and then got back to work.
We started the day with a shorter version of yesterdays warm-ups. They got right back into it, it was great seeing how excited and involved they were today. Following this we spoke of how we were going to create out stories. We started by reading an MLK Jr speech “I have a dream” The Rwandan teachers as the readers. It was clear they began to feel connected to the story. Following this we split into three groups and discussed how we felt, what are themes we found more important from the reading, why. My group came up with the theme/title “seeing light through darkness.” We devised a story of animals trapped in the darkness of the forest experiencing their fears and predators, we played with the ideas of being tapped, cramped, afraid, alone and lost. The light was then put upon them, the darkness was lifted. Once this darkness was lifted they were able to express their light that pulled them out. Some inspirations were the Sun, stars, trees, nature, humanity, confidence and faith. They then joined together and gave their gift to the world one by one, then began sharing their gift with others. Finally they migrated together into one large ball of light. Together in this process we learned things about each other, the world, philosophical thought, teamwork, creativity, positivity and also it was fun. Many things that were pointed out by the teachers were how lines could represent scientifically theory even if they were not meant too. They also mentioned how they could see themselves making workshops for math problems and using warmups in the morning to get their kids focused and present before their lessons for more effective information retention. They were so thankful by the end of the day it was a great feeling! We hopefully will have a long term educational relationship with wellsprings and they will hopefully pass this on to the teachers they are teaching.
Teacher training day 1
Today we officially started our teacher training. Our job was at Wellsprings, we were called in order to teach teachers, how to tech drama based education to other teachers. At first they were a bit skeptical, a lot of talk and discussion. We moved this along by showing them what we do and showed our Anne Frank in Rwanda. Following this they had svn more questions, for instance?
How do you expect us to do/teach this?
and how does it pertain to every subject?
We followed up with a three hour workshop of our everyday warm up exercises.
Many of these things are “wallbreakers” they break down the persons emotional defense, they become more open and present following these exercises. They learned following this how these things can create many positive vibes in the classroom.
Like:
In the moment behavior
community work
positive behavior
respectful behavior toward each other and teachers
focused learning
full body learning- not just in one ear and out the other
and teamwork
The teachers were incredibly interested and enjoyed all the work we did. But, they still had questions they wanted answered pertaining to how this will specifically help them. These questions will be answered tomorrow
A Grain of Salt
Evon’s story
Location: Morambi school
“These people were neighbors, they would ask for a grain of salt and we would give but the next day they came with machetes”
“It was planned, It was sponsored, What do you think? How do you feel?” I was asked.
I do not see how I could personally do it, it is hard to understand never being under those circumstances. I try to remember many were children and were under the impression of adults, leaders and substances. Through psychological studies it was proven under high stakes many would/could take a life. All I really know is it was not just one idea, it was many. It was planned and sponsored and carried out by many frightened people. The lack of intervention and care for this situation from outside sources greatly raised this.
I then asked him his thoughts. He told me a story about a friend he visited in Germany whose grandfather was killed in the holocaust. He asked him if he could forgive and he replied, with no hesitation, “No.”
Evon then explained “For us, we felt we had to do something. Many Tutsis wanted or may have killed in retaliation.But, there was so much loss. I cant tell you I or we really deep down forgive, but we had to live.”
I replied, I cant tell you if I could really forgive, I cant begin to say when I know I have never experienced. But that is why I commend you so much, I see how much selflessness was involved. All individual feeling had to be put aside to begin a new chapter. In order to see what I see today, this had to happen.
80% of Rwandans plummeted below poverty line after the 1994 genocide.
80% had a death in the family.
70% witnessed a friend or family member die.
90% thought they would die.
The camps of justice
We traveled to the community work camps of Rwanda, these camps are homes of the genocide criminals who were forgiven through Gachacha. Gachacha was a program introduced after the genocide so they could begin creating peace and repairing damages that were done. Perpetrators could confess what they have done and ask for forgiveness and in return they would have a shorter sentence but a harder work burden. Though, all their work would be related to helping the people and land they had destroyed. One main difference in this society compared to one we would normally think of is this idea of forgiveness in prisons. The Rwandans still continue to thrive and practice this today. When we arrived we were able to talk to them like people, no bars or walls, just themselves. Questions and concerns about our society was also brought up, mainly about how our society judges criminals. Even though their crimes were terrible along with others throughout the world we fight aggression with aggression and there is a time where you ask why. The only way to answer this is to say because people are scared, and they are angry and the ones who had made mistakes, which isn't wrong entirely. But there should maybe come a time where people ask now is it even worth more war and pain? Further into our visit they did a thank you performance for us in which even the correctional officer/warden danced with them. This was interesting to see because whether its police brutality or just police treating criminals with lack of respect. We then followed up with our performance which was greatly appreciated, we carried through the rain. Once we were ready to leave the ground was to wet to drive up the mountain we struggled and then all of a sudden all the prisoners came out with shovels they all worked to help us out of the mud then then all got together, the townspeople and the prisoners to push our bus all the way up the mountain. This moment seemed like one out of a movie.
Rehearsal Meditation and Refugee camps
Clovis and friends,
It was wonderful meeting clovis and his friends and learning more indepthly about what is really going on. so many stories were shared. Edmond, clovis's friends shared with me his feeling about the camp in which he lived and how he feels. He assured me to not be nervous and that he cant blame the children for how they are and how they act and that they dont know any other way. He spoke of the hardships and that he could identify with them when he was a child. Now, Edmond is at the university next store studying physics. I was also able to meet Kabera Colson he wrote to me " I was born in Matisi Im a refuge in Gihebe campe" Like many others, he was an adult still searching to leave the camp and start a new life. But he was very positive and motivated regardless which seems to be the key to starting over.
The Safari
The safari was amazing! we had full on safari gear and jeeps! tons and tons of photos and videos. Today was very enjoyable not only because of the safari but the weather was great and it was a great time to reflect upon what we have been taking in here in Rwanda. In addition to this Carl is teaching me much needed information about the african wildlife!
The church of the living and the dead
'I am not surprised by the events which surround these limits but I am surprised by how beautifully you have repaired'
'You are defined by how you choose to be, The past can haunt you but you can embrace it as family and welcome it to your new home'
'The moment you accept it did not happen is the moment you resign a piece of your humanity'
-Rebecca
'Let peace be in this world and the genocide may not happen anywhere again.'
P.. Vianney
Uneasy air
It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining, the sky was deep blue and the breeze was magnificent! but the graveyard was intense, the national memorial was filled with about 300000 bodies from the genoside. The breeze carried the leaves and the branches on the trees, it felt as if there was a presence but a peaceful one. indoors it felt much darker, lonelier. but was balanced out by the abundance of information pre and post genocide. Towards the middle and end they began to put faces to the tragedy which made for a very emotional roller coaster. I feel as though this experience will clarify all our acting in our piece because it was very specific, it brings to light really who my character is, and things they may have went through during their genoside. This also brought to light clear connections between all genosides.
Moving forward
Moving forward through our journey so far feels very natural in this environment. This experience has allowed us as actors and people to connect very differently then we once did. What is quite interesting is most of our group has known each other for 3 years yet we've become so close in 2 days. In addition to the real experience of being here in Rwanda, the community that we are building, the family, has really been a huge part of our success. Today we had a great rehearsal where we unlocked things and saw things we never felt before. Not only did we see and hear the connections from each other but we felt it, things just flowed down a new waterfall, we moved to a new beat. Specifically with Rwanda, things we have seen and talked about have the very whimsical presence and it is clear it is ridding off in some way. It would be wonderful to take certain ways from Rwanda and apply them to the United states. By no means is anywhere perfect, but there is much to learn from other countries and experience there is no one really superior, they all have unique and educational stories to tell and learn from.
If we were to take a moment and really think about how we could better our society, what would they be? 3 things I thought about today based off what we learned and talked about while touring the streets and visiting around Rwanda was:
1, Rwanda has one day out of the month where everyone leaves the house to clean and pick up trash out of their environment, it is INCREDIBLY picked up, there is no trash on the ground, anywhere.
2, the bright, and calming soothing colors, maybe they aren't sharp or edgy or completive but it really breaths a calm soothing atmosphere and through psychology we've proven that there is in fact colors used for calming, or that emit certain feeling sand vibes, so why are we so commercial?
3, How much does our fast paced grooling stressors in everyday life affect as human beings? how much do we really learn or obtain from a society that is too busy to register conflict, or friendship or anything else? things are a bit slower here and people are able to really reflect upon things because they have times and days in which they do, they are less caught up on this idea of perfection in which i feel we throw around quite a bit, many times we lose ourselves in the process of this.
The Journey
Fortunately the journey was quite smooth, we seemed to get to everywhere we needed to be on time. This is something that normally get quite unlucky with when traveling. We were also pleasantly surprised when we left the airport and were greeted by our Rwandan friends and guide, they were very welcoming and excited for our arrival. We were then given a welcoming meal from our hostel Discover Rwanda, which was exceptionally great~ Day one was really relaxing and really allowed us to get ourselves settled.
Presence in preparation.
At the start of this journey I had no words, I felt as though many things were happening simultaneously and I could not verbally describe them. Simply I felt a bit bland. Then I realized, this was correct, at least in my eyes. In school it was midterms then finals and this was the frosting on top. I was just moving through days and weeks just fulfilling each objective at a time. Soon to realize, school is now over and its only Rwanda, now all these thoughts are setting in. Ive concocted this was my unconscious act of being "present" a term we use quite often in my acting training. I watched many of my fellow classmates stress over exams and other common stresses but I just felt different. Things seemed to just fall into place, not easily, but they did. I was doing one thing at a time and now I am here. I feel utterly prepared yet, unprepared. The specifics, rehearsal, packing, yes, that is done but I have questions and feelings. But whats interesting is I can't gather my thoughts enough to know what I need to ask, I need to see it and then maybe I can formulate it. However, I now know what when I see it, Im confident I will know it because I have proved to myself throughout this process I am undoubtedly in the moment.
